How Can I Help You To Say Goodbye?
by TheWriteWay4Me
Summary: Short song fic set to Patty Loveless's song by the same title. I changed some of the words to fit the story. I own nothing! Takes place in three different places in Darry's life.


**Hey guys! This is just a short one-shot song fic set to "How Can I Help You to Say Goodbye?" by Patty Loveless. It is the result of YouTube and Outsider's fan fiction. I cry every time I hear this song, and just had to use it in a fic! Some of the words have been changed to fit the story! I hope you all enjoy!**

**P.S. I, sadly, own nothing! :'(**

_Through the back window of a '54 wagon  
I watched my best friend Jerry slippin' further away…_

_I kept on waving, 'till I couldn't see him,  
And through my tears, I asked again why he couldn't stay…_

Nine year old Darry Curtis watched as the station wagon slip away. Jerry had been his best friend since kindergarten and now he was gone, moving to Texas with his family. Darry was waving as the wagon disappeared from sight, sadness deep in his nine year old heart. He felt the tears roll down his cheeks, as he looked up at his mom. "Why couldn't he stay here, Mama?" he asked, hurting as he had never hurt before in his short life. Mrs. Curtis knelt down and pulled her small son close, her heart aching as she thought of an answer. Then, she remembered the words that her mother had told her as she had laid dying.

_Mama whispered softly, "Time will ease your pain  
Life's about changing; nothing ever stays the same…"_

"Sweetie, he had to go," she whispered, stroking her son's hair. The little boy looked incredibly lost.

"Mama, I don't think that I will ever stop hurting," Darry whispered bleakly. He feared that his heart had been forever torn from him, disappearing with his best friend. His mom smiled sadly at her son's logic.

"I know it hurts right now, but it will get better as time goes on. That's what life is about, change. Nothing ever stays the same…"

_And she said, "How can I help you to say goodbye?  
It's OK to hurt, and it's OK to cry.  
Come, let me hold you and I will try…  
How can I help you to say goodbye?"_

Darry looked up at his mom. She smiled and continued softly, "How can I help you to say goodbye? It's ok that it hurts, and you can cry. Come and let me hold you, honey." Normally, Darry considered himself too old to cuddle up to his mom, he was in the fifth grade after all, but this time he made an exception. They got into the front porch swing, their favorite spot to talk and do homework together. His Mom wrapped him in her arms, his head against her chest. He snuggled up to her on the swing, arms around her waist, as she rubbed his back, and whispered into his hair, "I will try my best to help you say goodbye, honey." Darry cried in his mom's arms, knowing that she could make the pain go away… she was always there to make the pain go away…  
_  
I sat on my bed, my heart was breaking,  
I held a picture from that very day…_

_Her hands had trembled, and we both were crying  
She kissed me gently and then she quickly walked away…_

Darry couldn't believe that Jenny had broken up with him, on their one year anniversary, none the less. He held a Polaroid from their night at the fair, snapped by one of the many workers there, and could feel his heart breaking. He thought about the night's events. She had come up to him, her hands trembling as she looked at him. "Hey, baby, are you ok?" he had asked, worry filling his heart. He thought that maybe she had gotten sick on one of the rides. She looked up at him with tear filled eyes.

"Darry, I don't want to be your girlfriend anymore," she had said quietly. He could fill tears filling his eyes.

"Why?" he asked, thinking about the past year they had shared. She couldn't leave him… he loved her… they had had such good times together… but that didn't matter.

"I just don't want to be with you anymore, Darry," she said, a sob racking her body. Before he could respond, she had kissed him on the cheek and walked away. Darry's heart had shattered into a million pieces, as he had watched her go. Tears streamed down his face.

"But I love you…" he had whispered at her retreating back.

_I talked to Mama, she said, "Time will ease your pain,  
Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same…"_

Darry's thoughts were broken by a knock at his door. "Come in," he said, wiping his eyes quickly. Darry tried not to let anyone see him cry. After all, he was a football star, and to play football, you couldn't be a bawl baby. His mom entered, looking at her 17 year old son in concern. He smiled sadly and patted the bed beside him.

"Honey, Soda just told me about Jenny, I'm so sorry," she said, settling to the bed beside her muscular son. Darry looked at her, tears in his eyes. She looked at the picture in his large hands, a picture that had obviously been taken that very night. She knew that he was hurting, even if he tried to hide it. 'He may be stronger than most physically,' Linda Curtis thought to herself, 'but his heart shatters as easily as anyone else's.' Out loud, she said, "Hey, I know it hurts, but as time goes on, your heart will heal. This is what life brings, honey," she rubbed his arm, her hand pale against the tanned skin. Darry looked over at her, looking as lost as he had at nine years old. Linda's heart was breaking at the look on her son's face.

"How much change, Ma?" he said, the pain obvious in his voice. Jenny had been his first love and Linda knew how much that first heartbreak hurt.

"Lots of change, and that change is sometimes painful," She answered. Then Linda wrapped her arms around her son, even though Darry hadn't let her hold him in years. A brief hug and a kiss on the cheek was the most that he allowed, insisting that he didn't need to be coddled like some baby. For once, though, Darry leaned into her embrace.

_And she said, "How can I help you to say goodbye?  
It's OK to hurt, and it's OK to cry.  
Come, let me hold you and I will try…  
How can I help you to say goodbye?"_

Darry accepted his mom's comfort gratefully. As she rubbed his back, she said the same words she had said years ago, gently, "How can I help you to say goodbye? I understand that it hurts and that you feel like crying and that's alright, even for big, strong football players," Darry smiled at his mom's unique brand of understanding. She seemed to know what had been going through his mind just moments before. She always seemed to know just what to say. "It's _even_OK to let your mom hold you while you cry, because all I want to do is help you to say goodbye…" Linda continued, feeling her son began to shutter with silent sobs. She rubbed his back and sat with him, as she had done years before when his best friend had moved away. She had always been there for her son and always wanted to be. She let him cry, wishing she could make the pain of her son's first heartbreak disappear completely…

_Sitting with Pony, alone in his bedroom,  
He wiped his eyes, and then I squeezed his hand  
He said, "Why did they go now, their short time here over?"  
And with mama's words, I tried to help him understand…_

Darry walked into his youngest brother's room, still in the clothes he had worn to the funeral. His parents' funeral. As he sat on the edge of the bed beside his baby brother, Pony wiped away a couple of tears. Darry grabbed his younger brother's hand and squeezed gently.

"I can't believe their really gone, Dare," Pony whispered softly, his voice scratchy from crying. "Why did they have to go? They were so young…"

"I can't believe it either, Pone," Darry said, understanding the pain his brother was feeling, the exact same pain he felt. He tried to think of what to tell the thirteen year old. The kid looked so lost. 'Oh, Ma, I wished you were here,' he thought, feeling just as lost as his young brother looked. 'You always knew what to say to make the pain go away…' Then, something his mom had said popped into his head. He took a deep breath, hoping that he would be able to ease his baby brother's pain and show him that he wasn't alone, that Darry was feeling the same way at that moment.

_I whispered softly, "Time will ease your pain,  
Life's about changing; nothing ever stays the same…"_

"Little buddy, it hurts," Darry said, stroking his brother's hair. He could almost hear his mother's soft voice, telling him the same thing over the years, the various times he had been hurting. He tried his best to quote her oh so comforting words. "And, while that pain will never disappear completely, time will make it easier to remember all the good times you had with them." Darry took a deep breath, trying to hold back tears. 'Ma, I don't think _this _pain will go away,' he thought to himself, thinking the exact same thing he had said to his mom at nine years old. He felt his heart breaking to pieces, as he continued to talk."That's what life is, Pony, change. Sometimes, that change is a happy change. Sometimes, a sad change… but change always happens, kiddo, nothing ever stays the way it is." Pony looked up at Darry, and Darry could see how upset his little brother was. Darry wanted to make that look go away… that look of abandonment on his brother's face… the look that told exactly how Darry felt… 'Oh, Ma, I don't know if I can do this!'

"Dare, I can't let them go," he whispered, tears beginning to run down his cheeks. 'I can't either, little brother,' Darry thought, wanting nothing more than to be able to hold onto his mom and cry as he had done that night in his room. As if by divine intervention, Darry remembered something else his mom had said on that very night and before that. Something that, as he thought about it, eased his pain, just as it had when she had said it all those years ago. He hoped that it would comfort Ponyboy now, coming from him instead of his mother.

_And I said, "How can I help you to say goodbye?  
It's OK to hurt, and it's OK to cry.  
Come, let me hold you and I will try  
How can I help you to say goodbye?"_

"Pony, how can I help you to say goodbye?" he whispered, pulling his brother's sob wrenched body closer to him. He felt the small, shaking person that was his baby brother. He took a deep breath and tried to be the source of comfort his mom had been all those years ago. "It's OK that it hurts, baby, it hurts me too. You can cry, buddy, and I will hold you, as long as you need me. Just let me try to help you to say goodbye, Pony…" Darry finished his speech, feeling tears prick the corners of his eyes. He had to hold them back, for Pony. The young boy sobbed into his older brother's muscular chest for an hour, while the older boy rubbed his back and hair, just as his mom had done for him. As Pony let go of all the pain inside, Darry did the same. He remembered sobbing into his mom's chest at nine years old over losing his best friend. He remembered sobbing into his mom's shoulder years later over the pain of his first heartbreak. He remembered her soft voice, giving him comfort. Now, with his mom gone, he was trying to do the same for his baby brother. The younger boy sobbed and shook, Darry holding him and 'shhh'ing him gently, until he finally fell asleep.

As Darry tucked his younger brother in, he knew that the pain would still be there. Time was the only cure for that, his mom had taught him those many years ago, when Jerry had moved. But he knew that, as his mom had been there for him to help him let the pain go, he could be there for Pony, to hold him and comfort him. As he walked to the door, and turned to look at Pony one last time before he turned out the lights, he could almost hear his mom's voice as she had comforted him, at nine years old, when Jerry had moved away…

_"How can I help you to say goodbye?"_

**OK, I will admit that I bawled like a baby writing that last part. :'( :'( I hoped you all enjoyed my depression! By the way, Darry may seem a little OOC, but I wanted to portray how I thought his mom helped him through some of the tough stuff, so there has to be a lot of emotion, on both parts. That's why it's called the tough stuff! ;) Thank you for reading! Please review, and then go read something happy! :)**


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